Alicia and Mary: Sisters, Skaters, and Podcasters

Hello and welcome to Dutch to Golden, a figure skating blog to satisfy astonishingly few of your skating news, analysis, and recap needs. I'm TJ Carey, and I'm someone with a lifelong love for figure skating, practicing, watching, and discussing, so let's delve deep into what's up with our interviewees this week.

I've posted several interviews with competitive skaters here before, where I've shared the stories that haven't made their way to an audience in a competitive arena, but lately, I've been looking to learn about and share the story of a couple people with a different role in the skating world. While I always enjoy uncovering the stories behind a skater, this time, I decided to uncover the story behind a voice, or more accurately, voices.

Mary (right) and Alicia (left) attending the 2019 Autumn Classic International

Alicia and Mary Mirtsos are a pair of sisters residing in the Toronto area who have been skating since they were both children, and their love for the sport stuck with them as they grew up to be huge fans of the sport. Their shared passion for skating is part of what led them to create their own podcast, Flutzes and Waxels, where they discuss the results and performances of recent elite competitions. They use their personal experience in training as skaters to provide insightful commentary on each skater. Their deep understanding of the development of elite athletes and the scoring used to evaluate them, as well as the close bond they share as siblings, always makes for an informative and entertaining episode, for both new and old fans of the sport.

Their journey in the sport began when their mother, a teacher in physical education and math, began taking Mary, the oldest daughter of the two, to a recreation center take part in different sports like swimming and soccer. This rec center was also the location of the Mariposa School of Skating, an organization in Barrie, Ontario that was the home of some of the world's best figure skaters. Even with the high caliber of training featured at that rink, passing spectators were lucky enough to be allowed to watch practice sessions, meaning someone like Mary could see high-level skating in person for the first time in her life.

"That's the beautiful thing about Mariposa, compared to places like the [Cricket Skating and Curling] club and the Granite Club in Toronto now, or even Ice Galaxy. They are a little bit more open, but for the most part, those sessions are pretty locked down. You don't have people just wandering through, but if the Mariposa was locked down like that, we would've never become skaters." Alicia added.

Mary in her early years of skating

From there, Mary began to learn to skate at the age of two. As her mother brought her to her first session, she strapped her into a pair of bob skates, which are platforms with two blades on the bottom that are tied to a young skater's shoes as a more stable alternative to traditional blades. Seeing that these were not the kind of skates she saw the other figure skaters wearing, young Mary began to throw a tantrum, saying "These aren't real skates! I want real skates!" This, Alicia believes, was the beginning of a hobby that both sisters would take very seriously throughout their lives. This quality of becoming fully invested in an interest and putting all of their effort into is something that the sisters believe is a big part of who they are as people.

"We don't really do much by half measures. If we're interested in something, we'll go whole-hog and spend way too many hours on a figure skating podcast," Mary noted.

That was the beginning of Mary's dedicated path to figure skating, and as she grew up going to the rink and watching competitions on TV, it was no surprise that Alicia would watch along and take an interest in the sport too. She took her first steps on the ice at the age of 3, and soon enough, her interest in the sport became just as deep as her sister's. She and Mary continued to go to the rink as a hobby while also becoming fans of the sport, taking every chance they could to see their skating idols. Growing up in the 1990s, at the time of figure skating's booming popularity across North America, competitions and professional shows were broadcasted in great numbers to Canadian TV audiences. With all this skating on the TV, it meant young Mary and Alicia could watch their favorite skaters, tape them on VHS, and watch them over and over until suddenly, the Michelle Kwan Mulan On Ice special snaps.

Mary (left) and Alicia (right) in their childhood

That was the unfortunate case for Alicia, but for Mary, she recalls being particularly interested in watching the Canadian dance couple of Shae-Lynn Bourne and Victor Kraatz. As Mary wasn't a fan of doing jumps, Bourne and Kraatz became her vision of what she would want to pursue in skating. "If I were to consider, you know, going somewhere with this, ice dance was always the route ... I remember watching them on TV and thinking 'Oh, that. That's what I want to do.'" A few years later, Alicia took a similar interest in Marie-France Dubreuil and Patrice Lauzon, the successors to the Canadian dance throne. These teams became the sparks of the sisters' love for ice dancing that throughout their lives, they have never lost.

Currently, the sisters display their vast knowledge and great fondness for ice dancing, along with the other competitive disciplines, on their podcast, after each competition wraps up. Their deep understanding of ice dancing allows them to explain the complicated rules, mechanics, and scoring controversies to fans who are less familiar with the event. If there are viewers who need help understanding and recognizing the different options couples have for choreographic elements to perform, Alicia and Mary have a video on their YouTube channel to help. If someone needs a step by step explanation as to what happened on Papadakis and Cizeron's one foot sequence at the European Championships, there's a podcast episode waiting for them that covers everything they need.

Of course, with all of this knowledge of the regulations and mechanics of the sport, it's no surprise that while these two love to watch ice dancing, they are sticklers, or as they them to call themselves, "The Mean Judges." When watching the required pattern dance section of a team's rhythm dance, Alicia and Mary will be quick to call out when a cross-roll is performed more like a cross step, a key point is scratchy, or an untraditional free leg is not their favorite. Some might wonder why it is that they tend to critique teams with such a high standard. If one person where to be assigned the responsibility, it would probably be their former dance coach, Scott Chalmers.

While they first knew him as a coach for CanSkate, Skate Canada's introductory skating program, Scott was always especially passionate about coaching higher level ice dancing, and teaching skaters exactly how to execute their turns and steps correctly. He was a strict coach, but as tough as he was during lessons, he was still a kind person to the sisters as well as his other students. "It really came from a place of love and respect for the sport of ice dance, and so he was very particular about how you executed turns. it wasn't just about getting the edges correct," Alicia explained.

Alicia, along with Mary, quickly developed
a desire for perfection from a young age.

Scott also had the philosophy of having his students work on their skating until it was perfect, instead of simply reaching a level that was sufficient for passing a test. He would work to have skaters be so prepared for their tests that failing would be nearly impossible. This approach was something the sisters greatly admired, and one that they struggled to find while working with other coaches later in their lives. "I did fail a few [tests] when I wasn't working with Scott. I never failed a single test when I was working with him, because he would say 'No, you are not ready. You're not testing it,'" Mary noted. Even after passing a test, Scott would have his students correct the errors they made on their previous test. The sisters believe that this mindset is a big part of what made them who they are now.

Mary had even taken from Scott in her short-lived partnership with the only boy at their local rink. She had considered committing to the competitive track as a teenager, but the sacrifices her family would've had to make made that too difficult. She doesn't really regret this, as she and Alicia much preferred the day-to-day process of training and practicing over actually competing. The opportunity to learn and improve on each session was the foundation of their relationship with the ice.

In 2017, the sisters began a new part of their relationship to skating: their podcast.

Frustrated with the "surface-level" skating coverage they'd seen in the media that normally discussed just the top finishers at big events, the sisters thought were was something missing, something more comprehensive, that should exist. Now living together as adults, Alicia and Mary found themselves having a weekly in-depth conversation about whatever competition had just ended, and through these conversations, they found what they were looking for in figure skating media. "Because we had felt that frustration about the thing that we felt like was missing, we decided that 'Well, we might as well try to fill the gap,'" Alicia said. They were inspired by a film podcast called Linoleum Knife, hosted by two husbands who essentially add a couple microphones to a conversation they were already going to have with each other.

With Alicia having an understanding of how to start a podcast from studying media in college, as well as Mary having friends working in music who she could borrow recording equipment from, the two were set up for an inexpensive start to their new project. 

Something that the two sisters have discovered overtime while creating episodes is that even with the two microphones placed in front of them, it's easy to feel like they don't need to put on a performance for anyone. This is not only because of the absence of a video format, and therefore a camera, but also that the conversations they have for their podcast feel just like the conversations they would have outside of the show. "It doesn't feel as much like a performance, like you're putting on a persona for other people, because it's easy to just forget that 'Oh no, I'm just sitting here chatting,'" Mary noted.

The sisters are now creating episodes for a fifth consecutive figure skating season, and even as they've gained an audience over time, it still feels as though they're recording episodes for a small handful of listeners. Of course, they understand what it means to provide criticism for young athletes, and as a result, they do their best to provide commentary that is both positive and constructive. "We created this show talking about juniors first, thinking about how we wanted to talk about skating in a way that, if it was something I wouldn't say to a kid's parents, I'm not going to say it on the air," said Alicia. They have received messages, all very positive, over the years from skaters who they've talked about on the show, but every time they get a direct message on Instagram from a blue check-marked account, their hearts sink as they wonder if they crossed the line and upset a skater.

The first response they got from a skater, however, is one they will never forget. A junior ice dancer, who had been featured on the podcast, reached out to Alicia and Mary, thanking them for being so positive in their reviews. This was a big reminder of what kind of impact this show can have on the young athletes being discussed. "We're giving our honest opinions, and to hear that that meant something to somebody, it's nice to hear. It's like we're putting a little bit of an impact, however small."

It's a tough balance. While they both try to be as encouraging as possible for the skaters, they're still "The Mean Judges." What connects their encouraging attitudes and their high standards of quality is their consistent desire for skaters to be the best they can be, just like their former coach, Chalmers. It's this same desire for the well being and success for the athletes that has made them so vocal about safety in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic, and while they did receive some criticism for speaking in depth about what could have been done to better protect athletes, they still felt a respnosibility to advocate for the health of everyone involved in recent competitions.

Having a deep appreciation for all skaters in an event is something that Alicia and Mary would like to share with their listeners. With primetime television coverage often only showing the top skaters in an event, it is difficult to become fully invested in the careers of skaters who are rarely shown in these segments. With a more comprehensive format designed to see both a skater's strengths and their opportunities for improvements, the sisters hope that their show will encourage viewers to root for more skaters than just those at the top. "The sport is better for it if you can appreciate more than just the top few skaters, and I really think you are better for it when you can appreciate more than just the top couple of skaters," said Alicia. "There is nothing that gets us more excited than seeing a junior, especially ice dance team, I mean that's our soft spot and I think everybody knows that at this point, but to see a junior dance team and say 'Yeah, that maybe wasn't a great set of skates, but look at this thing that you've got.'" All in all, their goal is simple, to leave figure skating better than they found it.

The sisters' shared love for skating has taken them many places
together, including the Lake Placid JGP in 2019 with their mother!

I had thought about ending the interview at this point, but through talking about their upbringings in the sport, their skating idols growing up, and the beginning of their podcasting endeavors, there was one crucial question I knew I needed an answer to. What lead Mary and Alicia to pursue their interest in the sport together, instead of separately, after all these years?

"I think the biggest thing is that we have always been fairly close. Everybody I talk to who finds out that I have a podcast with my sister goes 'I could never do that with my sibling!' and there was absolutely a period in time when we were teenagers where I would've said the same thing, but we've always been fairly close. We've always been quite a lot alike. and we also both quite like structure in our lives, quite a lot, so this gives us a place to have the time to spend together that's kind of non-negotiable at this point," Alicia explained.

Recording episodes for the podcast acts as a routine way for the sisters to spend time with each other, and it's this structured activity that makes it easier for them to connect, especially after a long day of work. "We both work 9 to 5's, and whether it's like now, when we're in separate rooms on our laptops for COVID times, or often different parts of the city at the job, when you get home from work and you're exhausted and you just want to eat dinner, lie in bed, and watch something on your laptop, this is a good excuse to say 'No, we're gonna hang out right now and talk about skating,'" Mary said.

It's their shared interest in skating that may have also kept them from drifting apart earlier in life. When Alicia moved away from home to go to college, she was still able to bond with her older sister over the ongoing Winter Olympic Games in Sochi. "It was really nice," Alicia said,  "to have that thing to bond over where we didn't know anybody else who cared nearly as much as we did."

Alicia and Mary were an absolute pleasure to talk to. It felt like I had my own exclusive episode to listen to! The way they bounced back and forth between each other for responses is very reminiscent of how they speak on the show, and it really shows just how close they are. You can find their weekly recap episodes of major skating competitions at Flutzes and Waxels Podcast, wherever you get your podcasts. To keep up with them on social media, get in contact with them, or access bonus content and merchandise, here's where you can find them:

Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram: @flutzescast

YouTube: Flutzes and Waxels Podcast

Gmail: flutzescast@gmail.com

Patreon: patreon.com/flutzescast

Redbubble: flutzescast.redbubble.com

Happy Listening!

-TJ

Max Naumov: A Legacy in the Making

Imagine working for something you want so much that you’ve dedicated your entire life to it. Picture what it’s like to try to live up to the standards set by your parents, world champions in your sport, and achieve results similar to theirs. Also, picture what it’s like to be closer than you’ve ever been to your ultimate goal, and even though you’ve come so far, your rise to the top is only beginning

This is the life of Maxim Naumov, a 19-year-old figure skater living and training in Norwood, Massachusetts who is rising up the national and international senior ranks. With the 2022 Winter Olympic Games set to take place this coming February, Naumov knows it will be a tough task to qualify as one of the top US men, but he’s not quite ruling it out.

Max with his parents, Genia and Vadim.

“That’s still kind of a reach, but it’s not impossible,” he said.

He’s not the only one dreaming of his success. Max’s parents and coaches, Evgenia Shishkova and Vadim Naumov, are the 1994 World Champions in pair skating, as well as five-time European medalists and two-time Olympians. Since they were already incredibly accomplished skaters, it was only natural that they had Max start skating at the age of three. When he didn’t seem to show much interest at first, his parents decided not to pursue it for a little while. When he was 5, he began skating again, and more often.

“I was already at the rink all day anyway, because my parents were there, so my parents thought ‘Let’s just get him started,’” said Max.

At that age, his parents made skating fun for him by creating new games and challenges for him. Still, as he began to grow up, he began to understand what it was like to be the son and student of World Champion skaters.

While his parents had a clear vision of what it would take to be a world-class athlete, young Max hadn’t quite grasped what all the work was being done for. “When your parents are your coaches, especially when you get to the top, they know every single step that needs to happen in order for that to happen. When they see a certain step not being done, that obviously makes them feel some type of way, you know?”

Another challenge of being coached by his parents was the struggle to escape whatever happened in the rink each day. If Max didn’t have a good session that afternoon and his parents weren’t happy with him, coming home and forgetting the events of that day was not an easy task.

With so much of his time and energy being devoted to skating at such a young age, Max didn’t understand how such a huge commitment could be worth it. Now, as one of the top-five skaters in the men’s division in the United States, he sees what his years of work are beginning to lead up to. “I’ve grown up now and realized what all that meant. All that strictness and toughness, I wouldn’t give that away for anything.”

But where did this change of mindset come from? How did the aspirations Max’s parents had for him suddenly become his own?

In 2018, after earning a bronze medal at the US championships at the junior level, Max underwent surgery for a lingering injury he sustained in a Swiss summer training camp in 2016. This was one of four surgeries Naumov had for the same injury, a chip in his navicular bone, and unfortunately, this surgery would take him out of the following competitive season.

Max had a long road of recovery ahead of him, but missing a season did give him plenty of time to get back to his former state. Itt also provided him with the chance to completely rethink his athletic career path. This was the point at which Max began to explore the idea of competing in pairs.

It wasn’t too crazy of a thought. He was, of course, the son of a world champion pair, and since the impact of doing triple flips and lutzes aggravated his injury, he could still rely on less difficult triples, mainly the salchow and toe loop, in order to be successful.

At the time, he and his training partner struggled to get sufficient time to practice together with their conflicting schedules. As a result, Vadim encouraged his son to continue working on his singles skating. From there, Max continued to work on the skills he had been trying in previous seasons, such as flips, lutzes, triple-triples, and eventually, the elusive triple axel.

Max had felt confident with this new training mindset. He was working to develop skills that could be needed down the road, instead of stressing over a quickly approaching competition. He even signed up to compete at the 2019 Lake Placid Summer Figure Skating Championships, mainly for fun, but after a solid showing that week, his scores immediately qualified him to be named to US Figure Skating’s International Selection Pool. Suddenly, he had a clear path to continue doing singles.

“Going into that year, [I had] no expectations,” said Max. “It was very low expectation at first, because I was thinking about pairs. It’s very interesting how that happened, but I guess that’s what I needed. I needed to just kind of not be so hard on myself for a little bit, because I was still upset about the injury year and the not so good year before that. I just guess I needed to have a little low pressure so I could just do me, you know?”

From there, Max continued to work toward getting his hardest jumps into his programs, and as the season went on, his results only got better and better. He returned to the ISU Junior Grand Prix Series that August with a top 10 finish, and soon became the Eastern Sectional and US National Junior Mens Champion. He attributes this success to his commitment to the detailed plan he set with his dad for the season, as well as putting effort into visualizing his success at each event.

After becoming the US Junior Men’s Champion that January of 2020, Max was assigned to the junior world team. At that point, since his experience on the international stage was relatively low, his main goal was to have a strong showing, and perhaps finish in the top ten overall. His expectations weren’t outrageous, as he knew he’d be competing against the top junior men in the world.

“Honestly, I felt like I didn’t belong at first. I knew I had earned my spot and everything, but it was just a whole nother game.”

While Max did struggle with his confidence at the beginning of that week, A nearly flawless performance of his short program put him right where he had hoped to be, tenth place after the first of two competition days. In his free skate, he landed every one of his jumps flawlessly, boosting himself up to a fifth-place in his junior world debut. Needless to say, it was a pretty big deal.

After that competition, Max began to realize the potential he had as a skater, and the level of success that his parents reached could be something he can achieve too. From that moment forward, the goal to replicate the legacy his parents left was his to own.

Following that season, Max moved up to the senior level, competing against some of the biggest names in the sport of figure skating, such as the three-time world champion, Nathan Chen. Max made his Senior Grand Prix debut at 2020 Skate America, placing a respectable eighth in a strong, mostly domestic field. The following January, Max impressed even more with his strongest competition to date, the national championships. With no mistakes across his two performances, he finished fifth, even without attempting the quadruple jumps that many of his competitors tried.

After the national championships, Max got right back to work preparing for the new season. Since the national championships, he worked tirelessly on landing quadruple jumps for the first time in order to get ahead of his competition. After landing both the quad salchow and toe in practice over the spring, his new challenge became to land a quad in competition. At the Colonial Open in early June, it only took him thirty seconds into his first competition of the summer to complete this achievement. He opened his short program with a quad salchow, earning positive grades of execution from every judge.

With the upcoming Olympic season, skaters around the world are trying their best to prepare to earn a spot to compete on the world’s biggest athletic stage. For Max, while he would love to be on that U.S. Olympic team, he knows that he is facing stiff competition from his American rivals. The Olympics may remain in the back of his mind, but what he’s looking forward to most is working to be better than he was last season.

“Our main goal, basically, is just to improve off of everything last year. That’s always been our goal, year to year,” said Max.

Training alongside Max and seeing him accomplish everything he works so hard for in practice is such an honor and a pleasure. I learned so much about how he grew up and his struggles with his injury, and I hope you did too.

Happy Sunday!

-TJ

Competitors of COVID: Junior World Team Member's Season Cut Short

March was a month of great change in all of our lives last year, and we all have a unique way in which the COVID-19 pandemic has affected us personally. If you're a skating fan, you probably know that last year's World Figure Skating Championships, set to be held in Montreal, Canada, were cancelled. What you might not know, however, is that one week earlier, the final ISU championship event of the season, the World Junior Synchronized Skating Championships In Nottingham, Great Britain, took place as the world seemed to fall apart around the arena. What many people also might not now is that several of the teams planning to compete at this event ended up withdrawing. Both of the American teams, who had been practicing in Great Britain for several days leading up to the competition, were gathered into a small conference room in their hotel early one morning, where they were told that they would be withdrawing from the competition and flying home that same day. In minutes, the hopes of forty teenage girls to be among the top junior teams in the world were crushed, and for many of them, their skating careers ended in that very room.

Emilie Rennie, one of these skaters, competed for the Skyliners junior team, the first American team to ever receive a medal at the Junior World Championships. After two consecutive podium finishes at the competition, with silver in 2018 and a bronze in 2019, the team was looking for a new achievement, the gold medal. "Sky junior wanted to win worlds. That was the goal," said Emilie.

A resident of Lexington, Massachusetts, she began skating when she was in fourth grade. Her mom wanted her to participate in a sport after school, and skating was what Emilie chose. From there, she began skating at her local club, the Hayden Recreation Centre. Given that her club was the home of the country's most successful synchronized skating team in its history, the Haydenettes, it was only natural that she wanted to begin doing synchro. The introduction of the sport came from Emilie's coach, Erika Hoffman, a former Haydenette herself. "I didn't really like the idea of skating on the ice by myself, and so it definitely helped having teammates be there around me," Emilie noted.

From there, Emilie joined the Hayden synchronized skating program, and ever since she started, it was her dream to be a member of the Haydenettes someday. For seven seasons, she worked toward her lifelong goal and progressed through the ranks of the organization, winning two national championships at different levels. After her second season with the novice-level team, the I
ce Mates, Emilie was hoping to move up to the Lexettes, with whom she could compete in the junior division and compete internationally as a member of Team USA for the first time. Unfortunately, she didn't make the team. As a result, she skated with the Ice Mates, which was moved down to the intermediate level, for a third year, and won her second national title that season. At that point, she was satisfied, because she had a gold medal to mark not only the end of her season, but also the end of her competitive career. That was what she thought, at least.

While talking with a friend about how much she would miss skating, her friend suggested that she come with her to Connecticut the next day and tryout for the Skyliners junior team, a team representing the Skating Club of New York that had proven themselves to be the top American junior team in recent years.

"I don't have anything to do over the weekend. Yeah sure! I'll come tryout!" Emilie quickly responded. The next morning at 5 o'clock, she and her friend were on their way to Connecticut, and within 14 hours of deciding to come, she was on the ice, trying out for one of the top junior teams in the world. While many skaters put a lot of time and thought into a decision like this, she knew she had nothing to lose by showing up. Because of that, she, with the support from her parents, attended the tryout and took a second chance at becoming a member of Team USA.

Looking back on when she was offered a spot to skate with the nation's top junior team, Emilie struggled to identify a single emotion to properly encapsulate what she felt in that moment. The word she decided on was "awestruck."

Something she she had no trouble identifying,
however, was what this meant for her as a competitor. "It made me feel like I was worthy of being a skater, almost." As an athlete who's always been driven by the outcome, making the team made her feel as though her years of training had amounted to something big, and all the time she had put into her skating was not a waste of time. This goal-oriented mindset would continue to push her in the coming season. Going into her senior year of high school while training hours away from her hometown in her final year of synchronized skating, she knew a junior world medal would make it all worth it.

Once she began her senior year that fall, she would mostly attend her classes as any other student would. At noon of Fridays, she would leave school early in order to make the three hour drive to skate with the team in Connecticut, where she and her dad spent the night in a hotel. On Saturdays, she would take the car to make the forty-five minute to the next rink in New York. On Sundays, training ended back in Connecticut at 8 o'clock at night, after which Emilie and her dad would arrive home at about 11:30 or midnight, before getting six hours of sleep and starting the week all over again. Meetings with Emilie and her guidance counselor took place weekly in order for her to receive her work ahead of time and finish everything that needed to get done. While it was certainly a challenging schedule, she always knew why she was doing it. "It was definitely a sacrifice for the sport I love."

The challenges continued not just in the classroom, but also on the ice, as training on one of the best teams in the world was much more difficult than she had anticipated. Along with the caliber of the team being higher than what she had previously encountered, she also had to get used to a new method of coaching and a different skating style than what she was used to. Emilie describes this style as being fast and powerful, while also being very graceful.

Another new experience for her was her that fall was competing in the 2019 California Cup that November. Not only was she skating in her first international competition, in front of a home crowd full of American teams, but she also had the honor of competing in both the short program and the free skate, a privilege not many skaters in their first junior season get to have. "I definitely felt worthy of being a called a skater when I got to be put in both programs," Emilie said.

So how does she explain what it was like to continue to travel the world as a competitor for Team USA?

"Surreal."

She has fond memories of times while she was abroad when she wasn't skating, and she had the chance to walk around the area with her teammates and meet fellow competitors from countries such as Russia and Great Britain. Her standout experience, however, is when she and her teammate were chosen to carry the American flag at the draw ceremony at the 2020 French Cup, and pick their starting order for the next day's short program. It was in that moment when she realized just what it meant to skate for herself, her teammates, her organization, and her country internationally. "I was like, 'Wow, you are representing your country and you matter.'"

Going into the US Championships later that month, she would also feel what it meant to be a member of the junior team that everyone was chasing for a national title, and the team everyone would be talking about: "Sky Junior."

It was a very stressful competition, as the team had not made the larger point leads over other teams like they were hoping to throughout the season, but two strong skates at nationals allowed them to solidify their position as the top American junior team. It was a strong statement to make, as this was the team's final competition before traveling to Junior Worlds in a couple weeks.

Looking back at what winning her third national title was like, Emilie has a hard time recalling exactly how she felt. "It's honestly sometimes hard to remember. I think, not just for me but for many skaters, when you're just in that golden light ... that your memory's not always accurate," she said. While she does admit to being a perfectionist and feeling that there were things she could have done better, she felt that she was right where she wanted to be going into the final preparations for trying to get that junior world medal. "I'm not sure if that's the skate I wanted to be known for as like my last skate, but I think it was a great jumping off point for where we could have gone." she mentioned, and now that nationals was over, the team could focus on their big goal: becoming the junior world champions.

This is where things start to go bad.

It was in late February, after the annual Spring Cup competition in Italy (which Sky junior was not sent to compete at) when the team became aware of a virus beginning to slowly spread across the globe. Many of the team members did not think much of it, but the growing prevalence of the spread began to have a big effect on the team's training. The coaching team and the parents, many of whom work in the medical field, took action to keep the skaters safe. When one member of the team caught the flu, she was placed in isolation for the safety of the team. Temperature checks soon became mandatory at each practice, something that back in early March, would be an unthinkable thing to do during training.

Still, in the second week of March, the team traveled to Nottingham, fully intending to compete for a world medal. If they were afraid of anything, it was likely the possibility of not placing on the podium and not carrying on the reputation of the Skyliners like they were hoping to, whether it be because of COVID or not. What added extra pressure was the cancellation of the following week's World Figure Skating Championships in Montreal, as this meant that the teams competing in Great Britain would be some of the few to represent the US on the world stage. "We definitely were in for a surprise," Emilie said.

While it was a pressure-filled week, the team was doing well in
their practice sessions that week, and their coaches and team leaders felt that they were on track for a strong showing in the competition. However, the virus was not at all forgotten that week. When her roommate became sick, Emilie had to be moved to another hotel room in case her teammate was unable to compete. Skaters also had to get tested everyday when they entered the competition arena, a process that, for a full team of 20 skaters, was very time-consuming,

Then, former President Donald Trump's travel ban with continental Europe went into place. Emilie and her teammates happened to be awake late that night when news of the order broke. Once they saw that Great Britain was exempt, they thought they were still able to compete, so they were still determined to win.

7 am. A knock on Emilie's door.

When she opened the door and heard the phrase "You need to get downstairs now," she thought it was just a regular team meeting. She and her teammates quickly arrived at the meeting floor, still in their pajamas. Soon after that, the other American team, Teams Elite, arrived too, also in their pajamas. The skaters waited for approximately 20 more minutes, not having a clue what was going on. The US team leaders soon arrived, and everyone then entered a small conference room, one that did not have the seating capacity for all of the athletes, so many had to stand. Colette Nygren, one of the team leaders, began to address everyone. "She started off saying something like, 'we are so proud of you guys for everything that you've done,' and when she said those words, I remember starting to tear up." Emilie knew exactly what was happening.

In that moment, those 40 teenage girls were told that they would be withdrawing from the Junior World Championships. Their season had ended, and for several of them, including Emilie, they would never be able to compete at their final competition.

"I remember hearing one girl start crying, and we all just kind of cried along with her," she remembered.

What she also remembers is Colette hugging her, as well as telling the athletes "We will not judge you for what happens in this room." This was a shock to the skaters, as this highly-ranked official in US Figure Skating, who judged both teams in the recent national championships, was someone that these skaters were always expected to treat with respect. Still, Colette and the rest of the US officials knew what this meant to the athletes, so they gave the teams the chance to fully process what was happening to them.

Then, the skaters were told to go back to their rooms, pack their things, and be downstairs and ready to leave in 30 minutes. Emilie moved like lighting to get her belongings together, but in that short amount of time, she knew she needed to call someone very important to her: her coach, Erika.

"She's just been my life long supporter. She was the person that convinced me to do synchro." Erika told Emilie to pack her stuff and that she was so excited to see her back home. She also looked forward to discussing what the next steps for Emilie would be. "I always loved Erika because she always had a plan."

Not long after that, Emilie and her teammates were boarding a bus that would take them to the airport and back home. It seemed as though the skaters had gotten all of their tears out earlier that morning, so Emilie's trip back home was relatively unemotional. When she arrived at the airport in Boston, however, she started crying again.

It was a tragic end to her competitive skating career, and unfortunately, Emilie took it very hard. She tried her best to feel nothing, but when the pandemic forced her school and local rinks to close, sitting at home with the thought of what happened became unbearable to her. "I know it wasn't my fault, but I just felt like I had failed." Throughout the year, she had worked with a sports psychologist, Kelsey Griffiths, to ease the difficulties of her transition from Hayden to the Skyliners. In September of that season, they constructed a goal sheet, with the achievement at the top of the sheet being "World Medal." Emilie's season, in her mind, became defined by those two words. Those weekly car rides, grueling weekend practices, trips around the world, and periods of time away from school would all be worth it if the result were a prize hanging around her neck. When that was no longer a possibility, she felt as though her year of hard work was a waste. "I shouldn't have defined an entire year of work in an award."

Like many of us, who have had many events that were dear to our hearts get cancelled, Emilie seems to have learned that instead of depending on a single week to make her whole season worthwhile, it is much better to find joy in every step of the way toward her goal.

Coming off of her end to the season, she had a very difficult time truly enjoying the sport she had spent so much of her life doing. As she spent so much of her time on the ice preparing for upcoming competitions, she lost sight of what it meant to have a connection between herself and the ice and just skate. "I'm still working on this, but I'm hoping to get it back."

Something that's brought her a lot of happiness on the ice is skating outdoors with her former teammates at a small outdoor rink in the Boston area. She's had to wait up to an hour and a half in line in freezing temperatures to get a spot on the ice, and the sessions would be packed with recreational skaters, but for Emilie, it was perfect. "I think I'm enjoying the skating part of skating a lot more now, but I think it's gonna take a while to be not to be not totally obseessed with what could've been in my competitive season."

For Emilie, everything is a step toward loving the sport again. As a current freshman at Northeastern University, she had the chance to attend a Zoom meeting with Gracie Gold through the university's figure skating club. Knowing the struggles Gracie has had with mental illness and disordered eating, Emilie asked an important question to the one person who could answer it best: "How do you repair a toxic relationship with skating?" What Gracie told her is that she has to want it, and she needs to figure out where her problem with coming back is stemming from. In Emilie's case, it was her need to win. This drive is what pushed her to continue skating, instead of a love for the sport. Instead of progressing because she wanted to skate, she went on because she felt she had to. Now, with nothing left to win, she has the chance to skate for the sole purpose of loving it. "It's nice knowing I can stop anytime I want to, and yet, I won't."

This doesn't mean that she's done with the competitive aspect of skating, however. Because of the judges who traveled with her to Junior Worlds, she felt inspired by the supportive role they filled for the athletes in such a difficult situation. Now, Emilie is looking to become a judge too, and she's currently in the process of being able to judge both synchro and ice dancing. She's also been looking forward to the idea of coaching other skaters, as well as working to develop synchronized skating in new countries, as the sport does not have the level of international representation that other skating disciplines do. She hopes that efforts such as this to make synchro more well known globally will push the sport toward inclusion in the Olympic Winter Games.

Still, her current relationship with skating is the product of an active and continuous fight. With three national titles and two international medals to her name, she's very proud of herself, but even after everything she's done, there's still a part of her that feels like it wasn't enough. There is one thing she hopes to do to find some degree of closure however: have one final skate in Nottingham, at the arena where she could have achieved her season-long dream. Deep down, she knows that she'll make it there one day. "I'm very driven and I will get there. I will go back."

Each of us has a story to tell about how the COVID-19 pandemic has impacted our lives. Emilie's story is one that I've been looking to share for a while, and I'm so glad she was willing to discuss her experiences with me! She's an incredibly kind and determined person, and it was a pleasure to learn so much about her as an athlete and a person. This piece is the first of a series I'm looking to continue with that I'm calling Competitors of COVID, where I talk about the unique ways skaters have been affected by the pandemic. I can't wait to learn more about people like Emilie and share what they've been through with others!

Stay Safe!

-TJ